Insights...

I don't know why.. i don't know how.. i rejected the call i made, it was too fast, my heart fell when i heard the voice saying hello.. well.. my reflections can make it.

I watched World trade centre today, a show that, a movie that actually brought my mind to someplace very very far. Talking to a friend of mine today, also gave me alot of views onto something on what i did on the past. The word obsession, has made me, failed my love, my friends and my family.

About the movie, the whole 135 minutes i was watching it, i only thought of one person. This movie, made me cried many times until i was actually sniffing and my friends were kind of suprise seeing this rough, tough noisy girl crying her tears away.. phew.. I was indeed touched by the movie, scenes, sad scenes when you know there is only flashes of memories running thru your mind the moment you step into the death's gate, gave me the courage to learn about how important some people are to me.

I kept thinking about what's wrong in me that made people fear me, hate me, dislike me, go against me, and disown me. My far far cousin mentioned about obsession. That really lighted my rusty bulb.

I was too obsessed with my club last time, till friends of mine, realise my pride is off the limit.

I was too obsessed with my love partner, till, i got disown and left alone here. Well, its over.

I was too obsessed about my pride, my image, till i hurt people around me, saying things i'd never thought it would came off my mouth.

I was too obsessed about being caring, to show concerned, till i caused haywire, and things had never been the same.

Alot of times in my life, i would wonder, is it fair to me? One thing is for sure, obsession isn't something to be proud of.
Andrew Matthew mentioned:
"Loving someone is about giving them the freedom to choose, who they want to be and where they want to be"

It is difficult at times to express to someone you cared about alot.

Wow, i had cheated death alot of times, and i do understand certain situations. I regret that my actions had actually threw away my closest friend, my family and my friends. And, the spilt milk is drying, yet, i couldn't do anything to change.

Detachment is the word. Optimistic is the word. And TIME is the essence.

i do hope that many of you here, reading this, take this oppurtunity right now, to call your love ones and apologise and tell them you actually care, before its too late.

Humans have feelings. Live with it, adapt to it, improve about it, Survive in it.

....
Love does not boast,
it does not envy..
its patient
and it NEVER FAILS..

extracted from the bible:
corinthians book 1 chapter 13:4-8