Honestly

As time passes, i doubted myself more than i used to.
Most of the time i think i'd done the best i could.
Most of the time i think i'd did more than what i deserve
Most of the time i think i cheer people up
Most of the time i think i'd helped people
Most of the time i think i'd been a great motivation speaker
Most of the time, i think i'm the most matured
Most of the time, i think i knew it all

NOw?..
Now i think i'd not done my best, for i could be better
nOW i think, i don't deserve what i get, with what i'd done
Now i think i'd nt cheered people up, but hurting them
Now i think i'd not helped anyone before
NOw i think, i'm not much a motivation speaker, i talk more then i listen
Now I Think, i'm the least matured
Now i think, i know nothing at all

Losing friends, hurting them.

What has cause this to occur? ..
Am i that hard to tolerate?
Am i that terrible in my attitude?..
Or i'm bias for i treat different people with different attitude?
Am i being fake for at every different occasion i act differently?..
Or i'm very hard to predict, cause i always change my words..
I can't be trusted can i?
I talk too much do i?
I can't accept criticism?

I always convince people of something i'm not.. although in my heart, i am
I am very thick face, for i won't accept any criticisms on the spot. I never admit things..
I can't accept people's thoughts, for its always absurd to me..

Of all questions that i mention, most of them its affirmative, i myself admit. But again, why m i not changing, i need someone to consistently remind me of my bads, with the tolerance of me denying, and only admitting it later on.

Sigh, if anyone of you reading this, i seriously need an honest comment about myself. pLease feel free to drop a comment, or mail me.. or tag me, or im me.. i'l usually defend myself, but i'll also apologise sometime later.. please lend a hand. I need to know, if i'm really that TERRIBLE..

thanks