ROACHES ARE MY BIGGEST FEAR

NAME: COCKROACH AKA SIU KEONG
HABITAT: DIRTY PLACES

SIZE: approximately 3-6 cm in length and width of 1.5cm

SUPERPOWER: FLYING TOWARDS HARMLESS HUMANS

STINKY

LONG LEGS AND ANTELIARS

MY EXPERIENCE WITH ROACHES:

I was always afraid of things that can fly (no not aeroplane, not birds)

especially if they are heading towards me

Years back, I had flying experience with roaches which ended on my hair twice

(which is also why i decided to keep my hair short)

and i can still recall its buzzing sound as if it has just happened.

BERITA TERKINI:

Pada malam yang sejuk, hujan kedengaran kuat di luar rumah, tingkap dibuka untuk ventilation.

(can i have it in english?)

The ever strong, beautiful (ahem ahem.. *coughs*) rough and big sized michelle,

with her daily routine chatting with yee wah with her never ending sad stories online

while spamming people's blog

She somehow realised something is crawling on the bed behind her back

she turned to witness a HUGE COCKCROACH

with WINGS

ON HER PILLOW

On the mission to eliminate the enemy,

she called the headquarters for help ( no response from the masterbedroom)

then she called the Lieutenant (her sister for help)

here's how it went:

MICH: JIEEEEE~!!!! HELP ME.. COCKCROACH

JIE: (half asleep).. WHAT ROACH? PUYAO LA.. M SLEEPING (i know she scared)

MICH: OI WOMAN, DON'T SO SELFISH CAN A NOT..SAVE ME ITS ON MY PILLOWWWWW

FASTER

JIE: AIYO..SENDIRI KAO TIM LA.. COCKCROACHES FLY YOU KNOW.. THEY WILL FLY AWAY.. (BETTER THAN FLY TO ME)

MICH: OIII YOU CANNOT SO SELFISH ONE LO, HOW COULD YOU LEAVE YOUR SISTER ALONE TO HANDLE WITH THE ROACH HERSELF. COME OUT AND HELP

*DOOR CLICKS OPEN*

JIE: SHOULD HAVE JUST SAID I SLEPT

MICH: COME OUT AND HELP ME LA.. PLEASEEEEEE ITS GONNA SHIT ON MY PILLOW..

JIE: YA..AND LAY EGGS TOO

MICH: WOII FAI TIT

Then we started throwing the ridsect bottle to each other.. telling them "you go la" no la you go la

aiyo you go la like that..

So the cockcroach explored my pillow..moving down to the bed

MICH (SCREAMING AWAY) omg... faster (pushes sis inside the room)

from afar, she sprayed the cockcroach

bukannya sampai pun..

but the MR.ROACH FELT THE STINKING BOMB

IT MOVES IT WINGS AND STARTED TO FLY.. towards us, then backwards

Something else flew at the same time. My sister flying to me , screaming and I screamed too.

So we saw MR.ROACH ze spy, struggling with the stinking bomb, flapping its wings, up down up down.. it tried to hang on the wall, but kept falling , couldn't fly finally it fell behind the bed.

I looked at my sister thinking whether she thinks that MR ROACH is certified or not.

JIE: YOU GO CHECK AND SEE

MICH (swallows hard) took the ridsect and walk towards the room to the bed,

jie followed behind..

she said i pull the bed you see k?

I went inside and peep

She took up the matress and screamed

Without knowing what happened I screamed too and ran out of the room with her

MICH: WHAT WHAT?

JIE: ITS UNDER THE BED

MICH: HOW COULD IT BE..

JIE: SERIOUS YOU GO SEE

MICH: NO LO YOU GO SEE LA

*door clicks*

General (muM): WOIII APA NI, I THOUGHT ITS ALREADY MORNING WHEN I WOKE UP, WHY SO NOISY

JIE N ME: GOT COCKCROACH

General (Mum): Please la.. malam malam buta scream like that people thought what.. I want to sleep tomorrow have to work you know?

JIE AND MICH: But.. COCKCROACHES FLYYYYY

General (Mum): cOCKCROACH ONLY MA..

*door slammed behind*

So without asking, me and sis went to check out MR.ROACH AGAIN..this time prepared

We laughed at each other, to release the tension

Then went back into the room...

She spotted the roach upside down moving..

I quickly sprayed another time, incase it attacks with its superpower again

Now 2ominutes later, its still moving

and i'm having that kinda psychological trauma

made my body so itchy omg

hate cockcroaches

if they don't fly, if they are on the ground i'm fine with it

i can even matikan dia

but its on my pillow, if i shake it off

THEY'LL FLY..

that explains the reason why i'm so chicken.

Forgiven right?

DEAD

look at its anteliars.. super long can... omg .. so disgusting

N i'm sleeping over at my sister's room tonight, and I already dump the infected pillow into the rubbish bin, and I think i will not ever let the window terbuka like this again. And i love ridsect for saving my life

Anyway, the roach got me out of the emo-ish environment. at least that moment i totally forgot that i'm emo-ing. At least now the heartache is gone (temporarily) but yea.. thanks mr.roach, though i didn't repay.. but to kill you instead.