DOUBTS

The one thing that men ( human beings) fear most, something that would disturb their concentration, and their ability to think rationally, DOUBTS

No, its not the worries (what happens if) type of issue here. Its just doubts... let me put this in an example...

A friend of yours had told you that he has not been dealing with drugs anymore. Well, he had been saying no, but what you see is that, he's mixing the same type of people, going out with them. You DON'T see him taking/consuming drugs.. but his actions made you doubt.. so is he or is he not taking drugs?

Then you started to think. Did he tell you the right thing? Or was he just hiding from you?

Many had encountered this situations before. Especially in a relationship. Well, you are very close to each other, you're doing things like what couples are doing, you cared bout each other alot, but you never announce that you are officially together. So are you both couples? or not?

It does not just confuse the 3rd parties. But it confuses those who are involved as well... You would think and think again, about the excuses given and you try your best to relate it logically, with sense...

So is this what causes the doubt in you? Iis it because what you heard and what you see is different? is it cause what A told you and what B told you about the same thing is different?

So you confront, you asked, if you're not _______ why are you doing ______... and arguments happen, you say, I know what i'm saying, when its no means its a no. The party countered saying that but you're not walking the talk...

So who's right and who's wrong. Who's being pretentious and manipulative? Who's being over sensitive and over-reacting on these issues? In fact.. it all comes to just a word..

TRUST

• I doubt when you say you had no feelings for me
• I doubt when you say you're not consuming drugs
• I doubt when you say you love me
• I doubt when you said you went for work yesterday
• I doubt when you told me, there's nothing between you and her

So doubts kill, it destroys relationship.. it hurts the other party. But this also means that you are lacking of trust. You don't trust your partner, or your friend, or the other party concerned anymore.

What is deceiving you. What you see? Or what was told? Is it what you're seeing? Or is it the person who had said the different thing? Then your brain starts to analyse,

but this happen, and it contradicts... So what should you do?

Many say, we can't learn to trust, cause we get disappointed most of the time.. Some say, well if you can't believe and trust one person, there is no point of putting yourself in DOUBTS everytime.

One thing for sure, something in the past has caused these doubts appearing in your mind.. or someone's experience has influenced the way you perceive someone.

Only a few things could be done to eliminate the doubts, and its up to the person to decide to trust or not to trust.

1. Has the other person know about this and tried to change to be better?
2. Has these been repeating again and again? Even times you confronted?
3. Is it the other party. Or it has always been you that has been too sensitive?

It is important that before you make any decisions based on the doubts you have, you need to be calm and rational.

Confront in a better manner, best on the spot when you see and sense something is wrong. This would avoid the counter party to have excuses to push the blame back to you. However, watch your words, and by confronting may make the other person lose face. So one way or another.. one party loses. Decide what's best for you. And do it personally one to one without interference from other people

Learn how to trust. The art of letting go is toughest yet most relieved for the victim. Take a deep breath. Calm down.. and ask if you are thinking too much and whether you should trust the other person or not.

Communicate. The only way to gain trust is to communicate and to go through things together. Let the past be the past. Disappointments are unpredictable, but if you live expecting it, most likely, you'll get it...

Each time when you're feeling uncomfortable about the situation/doubts.. pull yourself out of it. People acts irrationally when they are emotionally involved. Detach yourself from the situation. Read a book, focus on other things, distract yourself for a moment. Come back and deal with it in a calm manner. Contact your friends to talk to if necessary.

Unless you're dead, you can't stop yourself from thinking. Unless you get real busy with your work, or unless you're a real carefree type. Let go the feelings, and attack the matter rather than the person.

Lastly..have Trust yourself. Have confidence. be truthful, attract trust, and you'll be trusted. Gain trust and give trust..

Perhentian Island Challenge

Michelle the mighty had decided to test her ultimate muscles that has been built for 9 years.. this challenge is a test to her limits..

IS SHE ABLE TO DO IT??

Crap!! would i hike 4 trails= bukits around perhentian besar and kecil? would i KAYAK.. APPROX 3 kms.. from besar to kecil then back to besar? omg..
WOuld i not take time to enjoy the sceneries but to torture myself with sweat and tears?

Well.. Michelle Says.. this year? not to say she won't .. but more to "can't" do it..lol!!!

So she took part as a volunteer instead = we have a free holiday, meet plenty of people, enjoyed my 1st ever semi-camping trip and fuuuuu.... al the tall dark hansome n pretty girls.. for me to kap ..yay!!!!!.. ok.. where were we?..hahahahaha..

photos time

Left Malaysian Tourism Centre (MaTiC) on the night of 16 Oct, leaving with 10 buses of convoy total of close to 390 people, 300 of them, participants.. some took the bus, some took the flight.. we will meet.. at kuala besut jetty.. alright
Pic time..

At 8am, we reached Kuala Terengganu.. for our official launch and breakfast..seee.. so many..
without me..cause me suppoe take picture.. n darn..some volunteers are inside.. n m not :(

The canopies for the catering held.. yumm.. food .. and grand!!!

We had a tour in tamadun islam.. newly built for the purpose of attracting tourist..5 of the ten buses taken.. everyone is hyped up for the tour


ops..not in order..but you noticed how the oncoming cars are driving on the emergency lane?They were instructed to do so by the police...
That's the glamour of traveling under the state of terengganu with police escorts..
haahahaha.. pa pei leh.!!!



At the crystal mosque that costs 26million, less than 2years old.. and its group pic time again.. weeeee.. oh.. my camera is to small, to capture all :D

You don't believe we travelled in 10 buses? count it for yourself.. maybe you realse there's nine. the media bus (bus 2) left straight to kuala besut for registration.. so..only participants lo!!!

When we took the bus to the jetty for lunch and racer's registration, we had a meal, waited for approx 3hours (m the last boat to leave the mainland) ahead to PERHENTIAN TELUK KEKE :d

this is where we stayed.. all tents .. (you can opt for resort stay too) but that's TOO snobbish.. we should join in the big group and enjoy the fun of sleeping OUT together (mainly coz the tents were to hot, so ended up, bags are sleeping in the tents, humans outside

packing before leaving..

everyone is happy that they completed the race.. jump ever high love the sea.. its so clear.. so beautiful, but mostly sandy bottom without corals and with plenty of jellyfishes (that got one of the short 200m swim event cancelled)

ops..wrong order again.. weeeeee... we went to the largest muzium in Malaysia.. this tank was placed right after the entrance. Wouldn't miss chance .. wanted to climb in.but the size of the entrance.. is too.. dirty/small for me to fit :P so i climb on it lo!!!

Don't beleive we have escorts? traffic lights wont work if we are around!!!.. look.. its a superbike man (and i took a pic.. with me on it )yay!!!

at the muzium entrance with half volunteers and half participants.. no camera inside so.. that's the most i can do..

it reminds me of sejarah pretty much. Seen the batu bersurat terengganu.. which, claims the curator, its ORI tao...

saw keris as usual, the currencies used back then.. owh!!! i forgot what's the name but its a tree like joint together.. and mostly pictures. Our Agong, which is from terengganu .. is A SCUBA DIVER too (applauses)

enough of people and time for scenery.. wee..this is the best spot best pic eva taken.. every evening, i'll take my mp3 my sudoku book, lay on the lower rocks and enjoy the waves and the beauty of the ocean.. nature is gorgeous in its own way..so people?do appreciate it and stop polluting..

back to the challenge, where we had briefing for the participants

oh.. and i got the 1st prize.. weeee. obviously, took the chance to have a pic with the trophy.. telling my friends, hey, i don't need to particiapte to win

i was on duty for the first and third checkpoint for the novice category, and 6th and last checkpoint for the elite category. Waited for 6hours where the sweeper arrives with the last team and went back with them following the routes.. hell it was tough.. ONly 10% of the route and i pancited.. so what you do when you're all exhausted?

CAMWHORE laaaaaa....

a scene we found on our way back to the finishing line

So the last team completed within 7hrs and 36minutes.. yes..long, but i salute them for their perserverance. Its not easy to hold yourself up, and complete it..some even get disqualified..

the night of prize presentation, where all participants gather for the closing ceremony

the participants, with the villagers

participants while waiting for the VIPs to come.. owh..we had barbeque btw

After that we had fireworks, i captured it in video and find it hard to upload at home due to SLOW slow.. transmission of data.. and it hangs my com.. so we'll see when we could get it done

That night, i went back to teluk keke early, cause i am all worn out.. and needed rest. So i bumped into one of the participants who told me to sit .. she apologised for being harsh at me during the checkpoint . I remembered her scolding me "what kind of marshall are you" and why we are not standing in places to direct them back to the checkpoint. causing them to take a bigger turn and getting lost in the jungle. Well.. it happens as always and there's no one to blame. I did what i was told to, and as a small volunteer, i knew what i should, and knew nuts bout what i shouldn't know. ha hahaha..crap!!! but its alright. she's an athlete of course.. and she's done a great job.. we went further talking bout the race previous week, and she commented on my race time ..

girl?how could you do 12km in 2hrs.. thats SO LOONGGG..lol

i'm like pai seh.. obviously i didn't run.

she did it in 1hour and 6seconds.. see.. and not even 1st placing lol!!! so geng hor?

back to PIC

everyone went back to teluk keke.. and its time for community service clean up at the camping site on the next day before leaving for kl..

The guys are incharged of pulling in the robes for swimming (though it wasn't conducted)

the guy on the left? he's the winner for novice category. He's very good.

I did try helping also (the guys were like asking you sure?) then i help carry the crazy heavy long rope back to the house. I make sure i complete what i offer. lol.. and NO more. (darn heavy)

Listening to the YB''s speech during the comm service..

Everyone waited to head home.. waiting for the boat transfer then the buses.

I left for bus 3 (knowing that any later than that would reach kl by morning)

Bus 3 is the 1st bus btw. Since i'm scheduled to be their bus leader so i cabut lo!!!

The last boat to leave the island was at 3pm. That time, we left Kuala Besut to Kuala Terrenganu already .. 10hours of bus ride.

We stopped at Dungun for dinner (where all buses stop there) bet the bus drivers get plenty of commission. I had tomyam. and its not bad..

We left dungun at 6.40pm.. and the last bus is only at kuala terengganu .. lol!!!

We reached home at 12am

There was a conflict in between, the last few buses were required to wait for each otehr to travel in a convoy, our bus were told the same too.

But if we were to wait, it'll be a 3hours wait for the remaning buses cause we left 1st. We decided that it's not worth it. So we cabuted..lol!!! managed to reach MTC by 12am sharp. got my parents to fetch me.. bus 5 reached 15minutes later.

I don't know bout the last bus to reach KL.but one of the buses where my friend is in, reached at 3am.

That time, i am already ZZ at home..

Great adventure, next year.. i'll be joining..time for training..weeeee..

you wouldn't want to miss it..

www.perhentianislandchallenge.com

Proof of me FINISHING THE RACE.. :p

MY 1ST 12KM

Michelle Yong after 20 years of life, have come to a decision where she needs to walk the talk

Basically, I heard the Klang Race is fun because usually marathon races ( 5,7,10 12km)

requires you to complete within a period of time in order to get a medal

bUT for Klang? Finishers will get a medal

So i was thinking, even if i Crawl back also GOT MEDAL wor.. so why not..

Woke up at 5am. Merely slept for 3hrs ... changed and went to Klang

Owh, by the way, i did not register myself. So we decided to cheat back a bip

The rules is, without a bip and the two ribbons, you won't get a medal

So Michelle is desperate and had to take action

When we were flagged off at 7.10am after the guys,

I was just struggling to put on my bip i stolen

I RAN (did not) I slow jogged my way for 12km..

nO.. i actually jogged bout 4km and CRAWL for the remaining 8

OKOK.. I don't think I did jog for 4km

So basically I walked, crawl.. and kap lui for entire 2hrs before reaching the finishing line

Found a few new friends, pretty young girls.. (you must be asking why no guys, 1st i'm not interested in guys, 2nd, hello.. they were way ahead of us?)

Whoallaaaa my 1st 12km completed and yay~~~ medal for me

camwhoring with the medal


mum so proud of her daughter, teared while saying.. i don't think she had ever even run 12km in her entire 20years of life

mummy?not true, each year i run 1.4km for Physical Classes and 3km for cross country

multiply 5 (5years of high school)

so... got 20 km lebih leh..

mum: yea right.. you have not been exercising for the past one year..

mummy: but i still ran faster then JIE.. :P

My dear sis has inspired me to do plenty of sports

From scuba diving, to hiking, to waterfall to even Running.. weeeee

i guess she could have done better if her bf didn't nag her all the way from 0km to 12km

why? cause he complains that my sis is too slow. He was like telling me, i run 42km also not as tired as pacing your sis to run for 10km

He is a triathlete, ironman, scuba diving instructor, rock climbing instructor

badminton instructor .. n my sister's life instructor. :P

Jie u'r fated to do something you never like for life (EXERCISE)

Finisher got Medal wo.. so?I GO LOR!!!!...the stolen BIP :p

*paragraph deleted to avoid controversy* lol.. i sure will die one lor!!!

.

Actually paiseh.. I guess I was about 1 hour behind ms TAN..omg.. SATU JAM

I damn slow.. must train.. lol!!! and she tot i was infront.. lol!!!

MALU SEI LA..

The feeling felt weird today.. it is as though someone saw what I felt...

Amazingly, I must have created confusion among them. How could one act a way, but say another..

Manipulative? Pretentious? maybe...

I was telling my friends, how forgetful I am,rather than forgiving. I thought of it a while, I guess I forgave, but i actually can't forget. After busying around for a few days or two, something will remind me of the past, and fuuuu.. the ache is as if it just happened.

Maybe i'm too complicated... alot of my closest friends had been very patient with me.. forgiving me again and again.

But wait a sec, lets take a deep breath.. and exhaleeeeee

I dont' think i'm pursuing anything anymore. Close to pointless.. I guess, since I can't be what I want to be, and I don't think that I should oblige into being someone I should.. I'll just leave it... I'll do what I want to do, without the intention of wanting it. At least it satisfies my inner self.

Busy busy busy... trying to manage my schedule properly.. enriching my resume, sustaining my studies.. cultivating self control and improvising damage control...

So lisan won herself a 2nd place in Finance debate today. Applause.. although she's so close to winning, but she's already a winner in our hearts.. hugs and kisses.. good job babe.. we all love you .. ganbate on business plan oh :D

Pics time

us after the ceremony.. congrats San.. :D

me and my dear new wife (ops..wonder if she gets mad reading this) but hey.. she insists I call her wife :P

we are so matching hor!!!! weeeeeee

Happily married ever after

SUCKERS SUCK BEST

This post has been deleted to avoid uprising controversial issues

Today, i was flipping through archives of blogs.. my own and others... that moment in time i felt the same feeling i did when i first read the posts.. I realise, I am most of the time forgetful, rather than forgiving.

As memories recalled, things flashed back.. and wow.. I can still remember how the cut was engraved deeply.. amazing... I can still remember how i response to it. And the moment i wipe that off my mind, One word..

Stupidity. And I'm still doing what I am told not to. Wakakakakakaa.. In fact, I had fulfilled my promise I made 10months ago just few days back.

How i wish I could make a decision and stay put with it, without allowing any emotional disturbance.

And I think i'd decided.. Hours ago, I was staring at the mirror, looking at someone whom I knew years ago. And she has never changed a single bit. falling back by pieces...

But after a review of blogs, posts and memories.. yea.. I guess I should be doing what I had decided years months weeks days ago.. just that i'd never persevered..

WHY I CAN'T BE A PILOT

I had not been able to decide what I want to be in the future... Maybe cause my curiosity level is to that extreme, that I want to try out everything. It seems that every little thing interests me. For the past 6months, I had been aiming for air stewardess as my 1st permanent job after graduation. ( Now..thank you for laughing, and no..I'm not joking)

Thought of giving myself a few years before establishing my career. Fly around, get trained with PR skills and of course, meeting people. Then I have this idea of becoming a pilot. I told my mum about it.. .

She said that those pilots are born to be, they usually have interest in planes.. you don't even know what type of planes are they in the market. ( I WAS LIKE... AIRBUS AIRBUS) lol... she don't really agree with my sudden interest in going for piloting. ( But she wanted me to be a stewardess, guess she must be wanting the airlines to train me to be MORE feminine.. and of course, cheaper airfares for her :P)

I told her i would give it a try for both.. so mum has been a critic recently.. bombarding me on WHY I CAN'T BE A PILOT..

for instance...

I was driving my mum to her colleagues Raya Open house, I was at a T-junction when I almost bump into an oncoming car from my right. (As a left-hander, there's a tendency where I would look left then right before making a turn)

MUM: WHOAAAAAAAA... YOU LIKE THAT ALSO WANNA BANG.. HOW TO BECOME PILOT.. BANG BIRDS BANG AEROPLANES BANG SUPERMAN HOW??

I was driving Waja the other day than my usual Kancil, I wanted to signal before turning, so automatically i lift the hand on the right side. Obviously for a Waja, that would make the wiper function.

MUM: WHOAAAAAA.. YOU LIKE THAT ALSO SO ABSENT MINDED, HOW TO BECOME PILOT? LATER YOU ACCIDENTALLY OPEN THE EXIT DOOR INSTEAD OF PRESSING THE AUTO PILOT SWITCH HOW???... ALL YOUR PASSENGERS GO TERBANGING OUT IN THE AIR ..

I was boiling water the other day, then i went up for a short movie.. and of course I forgot about the water.. and of course, it dried up.. and there goes my mum again

MUM: WHOAAAAAAA... YOU SO FORGETFUL, LATER YOU FORGOT TO REFUEL YOUR PLANE THEN TAKE OFF HOW?.. USE WATER AS FUEL AR.. (i was like, hey .. its the engineers that are suppose to make sure its FULL TANK.. not the pilot ) she continue saying, yea, as if you are not responsible to check your metres if they have finished or not ..


So I have to be really cautious lately.. before she starts hammering me on another pilot MISERY again..

I'm suppose to blog boout IPOH trip obviously..

and i couldn't find the camera..in which all the photos are inside.. and yes it was a great trip up.. as we had fun and most of us are deprived of zz due to mafia crazy game and also the early dim sum if don't go by 7 no need to think of eating place...

So hang on while i turn my house upside down in search for the cam..

Weeeeee.. today is the last day of holiday and i realise.. i am unable to achieve what i want myself to ..in this 1week.. nooberrr..

OK...hang on readers :P..