Today, I was checking through my mails and I figured, hey.. there's this one mail that I'd created, but have not been checking it for close to a year.
So i got myself logged in, looking into the sent mails and the inbox, I realise its empty. I thought again, and I recalled, I was the one who deleted it.. fuh!!!
I claim people not being truthful to me, I blamed I pointed fingers at those whom cared bout me most and whom I cared most. I clicked onto the draft and saw a few messages that was left unsent. I read about it, and it tickled me.. Now.. i felt like crying. How could I ever do this to her (Not having thoughts about the other angle for a moment) I felt so terrible, each time she explains what's happening, each time she updates me. But never had I appreciated it.. Due to what I had perceived her from the start...
Perception,something that could affect almost all your decisions in life. With this perception, I lived my life the past 3 years, dwelling and falling in to deep holes, I myself dug.
There's no one to blame.. and I felt so bad ... maybe certain hurtful things were said and I had it engraved in my heart.. and I did the same too, so who am I to comment others when I'm committing the same act..
Wow... looking at the calendar got me startled I'm pretty amazed on how this has prolonged. Not bad at all. I'd been apologising to you so many times, without even think whether I meant it or not. Because of me, the gap between our friendship widens. And I guess I was the one who'd changed.. but i pointed my finger at you. Its really a joke. A joke where the reason cannot at all be accepted.
Marty, I'm sorry yea.. sorry for putting our friendship into a bet. I'm sorry for losing all the chips we had collected over the years by gambling them. I sincerely seek for your forgiveness. I would do my best to make it up to you! Hugssssss
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