Hmmm, after 18months.. i realised, i'm losing myself. The competitiveness is gone, the urge to get better results, is gone. How could it possibly be as such. I cannot imagine this. Each semester after each, my transcript gets more colourful and the colours are no longer FLYING... i've gotta keep myself up.
I don't like people getting disappointed at me. I wonder how would my college thinks, if they compare me and other scholars. Especially those who scored. Do i deserve that gift? A gift i'd been using for almost 2years half now. Although i meet the minimum requirement.. but its not me. The worst is, I could not do anything about it, no 2nd chance. Just a "try harder" next semester.
Have i disappointed my mum? She sounds cool with my results. Have i disappointed my other mates? Have i disappointed my college? My principal? The inconsistency would reflect on myself. The one thing that i could not lose, my pride, my ego...
I guess its time to make a change, and i've got to be serious this time. Maybe remarking some of my papers... but still, depending...
I need to buck up.. and i must remember to buck up. My cgpa dropped again. Sigh.. how to keep myself up.. people are climbing up and i'm falling down. Gosh.. better start repenting. I have a great chance this semester and i shall do what i can. And i must mean it THIS TIME.. wee, college starts tomorrow, here comes hard work
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2 comments:
I've faith in you. All the best ;)
Hey girl! Has been quite some time since I land here.
Have faith in yourself alright? That is the most important thing. Not so much of pleasing others and worrying about them being disappointed.
As long as you've tried your very best, I'm sure the whole wide world will be proud of you. I'm not sure abt them.... but I AM!
Cheer UP okay????? =D
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