Being Grateful is the Word

Why would someone be angry? Jealous? Mad? Irrational? Emotional?.... What if you're grateful? Would you feel al the above?... If you're grateful of what you have, would you complain about what others have, and envy about the wealth of others?

As an example, lets say, if you have a friend, or a family member, whom his character is not upon your expectation. Or he acts to something that is beyond your patience limit. Do i say above?.. Do you complain about how unreasonable they are? Do you get frustrated when they are acting so? I don't know about any of you reading this, but I myself would sometimes feel so.

Humans are never satisfied, we would go do ANYTHING, to achieve our current goal, as an example, maybe owning a play station1. When we already own one, we tell ourselves, its time to get a better playstation. Which is PS2. And PS3 is on its way already. Humans tend to challenge themselves with harder things. We grow up, finding ourselves in situations, getting difficultier? Haha..more difficult i mean, each stage.

As an example, what is PMR, when you're facing SPM? wHAT is SPM? When you're at A levels. To you, the past is always easier. What if you face something similiar everytime? You would be bored..then you'll say..why can't i change job,change course, change life? Get something more interesting to do. Interesting= challenge, challenge= difficulites. And? You'll start complaining how difficult life is again, till you conquered the challenge, and what happens? Its all routine again.

IF you're grateful, you tend to look at things another way round!Did i just ask you to stop going for what you want to achieve? Did i just ask you to stay put at what you already have and don't chase for better needs or goal? In one way? No.. it is important to look for something more challenging to improve yourself. It is important to go for your dreams, aiming higher each and everytime. NOw everything goes contradicting. I thought i just said we should be grateful.. now i'm saying, it is important to improve or find tougher challenges.

This is when satisfaction comes in. Be grateful of what you have at the moment. And yet, aim higher for better needs. When you're grateful, you don't complain. WHen you're satisfied? You tend to have an easier life. When you're grateful, you won't envy others, but you'll be glad of what you have, and you will try achieving what others have. Without having depression, without having stress. You realize, you let go the burden in you.

Give it a try.. you'l see the difference. And nothing works overnight.. It always takes time to see the results and the consequences, the differences. Don't give up, be grateful and you'll see things differently..

What a start of the semester

So basically.. i woke up at 0645am, after 2weeks of 14hrs sleep everyday. Yesterday only slept 4hrs.. cause watching match of the season. Manchester vs Chelsea. The match? Was better in 2nd half, but too bad, it was a 1-1 draw. Although its a predicted draw. But, of course, still preferred Man U to win right? Both top teams, i favour Man U more. The 1st goal by Saha was brilliant. Goodness, the ball swirl in to the goal post. At 1st i thought it was out. Well, of course, it wasn't.

But, the Carvaldho...somethin somethin like that, head in a corner. Saha tried his best to knock the ball out, but it hit the goal post and reflected back into the mouth. If Saha, didn't head the ball, Van der sar maybe able to save the ball. Hmmm..luck i would say. But it was a match.

Then, i went college, waited about 3hrs for class.. wait, where's my other 3friends? Two went Genting while skipping Class.. another 1 still in Singapore, missing first few classes. Then, it was english. I love the new lecturer. Cause, she has her standards. Then had Business Stats.. well, the lecturer was.. okok... then the terms.. made me gag. Ordinal? Interval? Discreet? or Discrete? Wateva the terms are..it would only make me more insane.. haha...yay.. i have an excuse now.

Then, rushed home, cause i thought swimmings at 5. See see.. my fren.. only start going home at 4 something. Cannot make it lo.. i go like.. urm, sit cab la.. ask fren fetch la. THen I Waited 2 hours for her at home. K k.. never mind, friends ma.. then, decided go bukit jalil. Jam al the way there, then, got parking. We walked to the acquatic center. And wohooo... ITS CLOSED.. isn't it Sad that its closed? Due to some carnival outside there. I was so guilty, cause my friend was like, you sure its open?you sure its open? I go like YA.. CONFIRM FIRM FIRM... so sorry to her. tHEN we left to her condo, ok.. we tried to go to her condo. But we got lost, then simply take routes, then we don't know where we are..Decided to go back cause of the traffic. Lazy ma.

Ok.. she tau tou tau.. then she say, I know where we are.. Turn here, turn there.. turn here turn there..ehh???outside her condo d.. ok.. so.. Michelle and Janice say? Swim lo.. she jump in 1st. And before i could start swimming happily, goodnes, the goggle?the goggles? the guggle? wateva the spelling is.. Broke.. as in the bridge holding the two "cups" Broke.. my goddes of mercy.. how to swim without it. Ok, the chlorine? Alot, many, vast.. wateva adjective.. haha..sO MATA tak boleh buka.. boleh renang? Boleh.. float saje la.. Somemore, heart pain.. haih.. compressing, buat kacau oni.. cannot swim much. In fact, din swim at all.HAIHZ..made me look like taufu. But Janice's definitely a good swimmer.. Cannot make it, her freestyle super lo. Must learn sometime.. And she can SWIM fast. I go.. bazzarkkk... wohooo..this human from dunno where..ahh.. Ampang n shifting.. can make it.

Then went home.. now blogging away..kinda sad tho.. somthing happen..hope it would be fine..shhh..those who know, keep it a secret k?zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Who says only Jacq can blog

ITs 27NOv.. 2006, 0805am, in M floor, waiting for class at 1000AM.. so stupid right. I reach at 8 but class starts at 1000.. arghhh..tomolo worst!!! 1200PM ... stupid.. Thank goodness i can now blog in college.. so HURRAY.. and bye Jac.. we don't need to tumpang ur blog to say hi to others anymore.

So wats up ...okie.. i'm bored.. just wanna say dat...I CAN BLOG... IN M FLOOR COLLEGE... yayayayayay..jealous??? hahaha


Byebye...

BUBU waterfall CONQUERED

It was 1145am, we left the 1st pit stop to waterfall, we stop many times along the way, cause its all way up. It was a tough track. We stayed focused, and continued climbing till around 1215pm, where we reached the 3rd pit stop, then we rest. We look up?and its all the way up again. We rest for 10minutes or so, making jokes, drinking tonnes of water to avoid dehydration. THe sweat is really coming out. And my legs were darn tired..
oK, So we walked from the 3rd pit stop, where everyone decides to turn back?.. we went up and up again. The road was less trodden?less walked?..less? i know..footsteps..haha..got it. The it was so QUIET..so so Quiet, we have to remain quiet, u know? THe jungle? Dangerous.. hmm.. so we passed the 4th pit stop, my fren fell quite sometimes, and we past the 5th.. and 6th never seem to appear, till like 30minutes. Then 1010 SIGN was rite there. And, here goes nothing. It wasn't that hard to climb d..so it took us 1hr and 10 minutes from 3rd stop to the waterfall.. the road? Goodness, slippery and steep..but it was challenging.. n i love challenges..

This is me, when i reached, i quickly went down.. Took OFF my muddy shoes and dump it in the water.. the water was cooling. Do i have to pay Tens of thousands to massage my body?? No.. just 2hrs of climb, n i get it free.. with calories burn too..wohoooo...

was the pic great?? i KNew it i knew it. Although the waterfall wasn't that huge?? But i felt so achieved!! ItS Like, you feel, nothing is impossible, cause, i use to think conquering bubu was .. a dream, but i made it..

We left the waterfall at 0235pm. The slope up was so steep, i think close to 90degrees.. so we climb, fell, climb fell and laugh all the way up, for 20 minutes, then the road is less difficult to encounter. It was so muddy muddy and muddy.. i couldn't be bothered avoiding those pools of muddy water, cause, am all wet and am full with mud. Michelle Says?... what an experience. Then, we climb non stop till we reach back the 3rd pit stop, and we rest for 15minutes.. its about 0345pm, we reached the 1st pit stop. And we tried a new track, it was faster, but there was a slope i fell twice, climbing on it. Slippery coz .. it rained twice. This was my shoe after i washed them. You should see my legs..

The Day of laughter&tears

I went genting.. on the 21st of Nov 06, THE 3rd time in year 2006. I didn't plan to get into the theme park, till my mum insisted. So.. at first..most of the thriller rides are closed. Of course, when they know Michelle's here.. they die die aso need to operate al the thriller rides.

So i sat on an elephant.Yes..elephant ride with my coussies and mum and uncle auntie..gosh.. i'm in dat elephant..stil young? I BET!!

I saw a signboard askin me to take a snapshot with the biggest coke in MALaysia..so..

This is the so called largest coke can in Malaysia.. ITS so far, i can't even zoom proplerly..2MP oni ma.. hmm..they are maintainin it somemore


Thats me with a smaller can of coke.. big enough for me to.. hAIL TO coke
Opz.. spelling error.. i noticed that from a far.. Tourists came starring at it. Sad? Mayb..

I bought a hamster.. for.. hmm..no need to mention.We named her MIlo..like Janice wanted..but Then she lasted only a week. She was found paralysed by me when i realized something went wrong when i was back from genting. Tuesday. ... she's breathing and not being able to move. I was so sad. Cause, what i want to do with her, cannot be done. Did she leave cause i'm giving her away?This is herpic Milo sleeping while eating cabbage.. mourning away..
Went to watch happy feet. It's very appealing to me cause the music, the dance the singing..and those cute lil baby penguin(heads onli) That was fantastic. And its a very educative movie. More i know of an Emperor Penguin.. With Yee Wah, Joyce and Mei Yan, everything was fun. Janice joined in the chat at a restaurant. So we talked 4 hours.. Non stop, lil here and there. And my parking was RM7. Goodness, luckily Joyce paid half. So nice of her.

Then brought, Yee Wah they all to my place's pasar malam. Made them all ate Chou taufu with me. Lolz.. With a condition tho. Everyone earns a secret from me. HAhaha.. Meiyan almost vomited altho her piece, was just.. 1.5CM square.. it was fun. Then, Mouline wants to go toilet, ending up in my house, we then talked and talked and talked till 1200am plus plus. It was a heart to heart talk session, and i was happy everyone shared something with the group.

Cant wait for another day.

What a day

The missing 10

The alarm clock woke me up from an uneasy sleep. I wasn’t able to sleep for the past few hours. And I’m very tired. But I told my god sis, I would go to school and wish them luck for their SPM ice breaking day. One of them broke the ice already. So I drove to school around 0645. The traffic was smooth coz its school holidays and the sky is still dark. Then, I took RM10 down and went into the canteen. I talked; talked and talked, till the teacher in-charged called the candidates for the prayer session.

Till the Teacher asked ‘Siapa Kehilangan wang?’ Then I start to recall about my RM10. I couldn’t find it anywhere. So the possibility of that siapa is me la… Then I approached the teacher. She shook her head and said ‘ Awak ni..dahla datang menyibuk. Hilang duit pun you. Opz.. sad??.. nope.. at least I got my RM10 back.

Then.. two hours of hot spring event and a very full and satisfying lunch starting to doze me off. When you feel really tired? Michelle says, go to sleep. So I reached home and slept till I heard someone crying superbly loud. I looked out the window, to the opposite, and found a car driving away from the house. Its my neighbour. As the huge four wheeled drive vehicle left, I saw a boy aged around 5 sitting on the car porch crying loudly. Smart as he is, he opened the gate and WALK TOWARDS His dad’s car, which’s already miles away.

That freaked me out man. The boy stopped right at the shoulder of the road, and he is inches away from the fast coming cars. One car, 2, 3,4 and more came flying past him, while he’s busy screaming and shouting for his dad. His sister, I suppose, around age 2-3, as in the size la; was in the house, calling her brother.

The boy is still on the road. And I got myself ready to get out to stop him. More surprisingly, the sister, opened the door, and came out. Woohw.. that really freaked me out. I ran down and opened the door, as fast as I could. Anything could have happened. Two houses away from theirs, the maid came out and start screaming to them to get in the house. I looked at the kids from across. Heart beating superbly fast, getting ready to tell em to get back. Well, I wasn’t the heroin of the day, but I thanked God that these kids are safe.

Parents nowadays, having difficulties to guard their own kids, and of all things they could do, they DIDN’T LOCK BOTH The gate and the door. After the freak out, its time for dinner. Went to a restaurant nearby my house and ate CRAB. The crab was fantastic. Now, I’m pampering my little belly. Like I’m pampering little MILo(my hamster). Then, I took my mum’s RM20 and went to a convenient store to get my credit, reloaded. Gave my sis the remaining RM10 and I took the one to buyla. Then, I immediately called my godsis, about SPM. So I was on the phone, and walking to the car, then, raining ma, so need to shelter my mum. Then, reach home, mum asked for her RM20. Then, I gave my RM10 and ask my sis for the remaining. And guess what.

She couldn’t find it. And it was my fault lo. Haih.. the RM10 is fated to be gone. So.. michelle says? Its ok. Not the IC, not the license. Its luck already. Now, I’m fat, sitting here..blogging away.

Beliefs

Something funny occured today. Am i suppose to be superstitous? Or shall i maintain my rational. Here goes. My dad's a buddhist, a very strong one too. That includes me.

Basically, a few mantras, in my hands. And sometimes i do think it works. Especially when i needed loads of help. Previously, i was approached by a few from other religions. Once? A christian told me, she gain confidence when she prayed to god. I have better life examples. My sis, is stronger because she got to know christ himself. She opened her heart to it.

Seeing indians, being punctured at their faces with long sharp sticks. And unbelievably, no stains of blood, not even a hole on their faces.

I always respected other religions. And i always, if given a chance want to explore more of their culture. But in my own opinion. I believe, all religion comes to one aspect. Faith.

When you have faith in your religion, you believe them. You practice the culture and the methods, because you believed it helps. I meditate. Because i believe it helps me to relief myself.

You see, many people converting from one religion to another. Are they betraying their true self religion? NO!This is because man have their brains to choose and justify which to believe. And when they found their faith in one thing? They will stick to it.

Everything is the same. Is just a matter on, how you wish to see it, and how you want yourself to believe it. When humans believe on something? They tend to neglect other judgements. At times rather defensive too. This is because we choose not to change our perspectives in certain things.

As an example, you believe that by doing good, you'll end up in heaven. Not all think that way? Christinity would say that only by asking for divine forgiveness, you'll unite with God. Buddhism mentions that, one has to end their suffering of their past karma, to achieve enlightenment. Hinduism, believe in reincarnation, and their purpose of life is to attain moksha.

At the end of the day, it still ends in the humans hands,mind. Which we choose to believe, and what faith we have in. I still think that, one should believe in themselves, no matter what religion you are, do good, find your purpose in life. Have strong faith in what you believe and stay happy and cheerful alwayz.

It is difficult to find someone who thinks exactly like you. Who believes things like you do. For those who differ from others, it is not that you're odd, and you need a change of thinking. But rather understand others, knowing the difference and intergrate. You dont' need to change,but be open, and accept others. Unity doesn't only happens because you share common thoughts,but because of intergrating and tolerating each other.

Have faith in what you believe, whether its superstitous or not. It doesn't matter. Many claimed their religion help them in respective ways. Don't doubt, look for the picture,look in the picture.

Judge as an outsider, don't comment if unneccesary. Be what you want and do good. Think good.

Love hates

A call from the hospital got Andrea anxious. She tried contacting Rachel but couldn’t get through. Finally, she decided to go to her dorm. After many times of knocking, Rachel opened the door with one hand on the phone. She’s laughing so happily. Andrea knew who was on the line with her, its Pete. She signalled Rachel to cut off the line. Rachel did as told. Giggling away, Rachel asked what happened. Rachel fell unconscious when Andrea broke the news. John is dead.

....He felt her presence as he touches the bench. He remembered those days when Rachel and he have long chats and laughter, teasing each other. Thinking about it, 7 years had past, those schooling days reminded him about his arrogance and low self esteem. It was Rachel who motivated him, through sadness and challenges he faced, supporting him always. “Don’t worry John; you’re able to make it through. I’ll always be here for you”, said Rachel in a comforting tone…

He wheeled himself towards the classroom. Still the same old painting, with extra spider webs on the top edges. The blackboard isn’t there anymore, replaced by whiteboard. Entering the class, the atmosphere is so quiet; he can hear his wheelchair tilting the motor blades. He then went around the class, a little disturbed expression on his face, as if he’s looking for something. He stopped just right there, next to the window, and he smiled as he reaches for the chair. They were engraftments, disrupted due to long usage of the chair. But it is still visible, the words; John hearts Rachel forever.

John wipes his tears away as he pushes himself out the classroom. He knows everything is gone. He misses those days when he and Rachel strive through teenage life and nothing beats the courage of care and love between them. Anthony came to aid him towards the car park. He frowns as he struggled to stand the sudden chest pain. Anthony immediately hand him the painkillers. He swallowed hard and breathed loudly. The pain reduced. Although only 24, John felt that he’s helpless.

Diagnosed with lung cancer terminal stage, he knew his days are ending soon. Severe hair loss made him look like an old man. The radiotherapy prolonged his lifespan, but it made him weaker day by day. ‘Why John? Why can’t you leave me alone? I have enough of you!’ these words left John into depression again. He had never thought of hurting Rachel, never thought of making her feeling agitated.

to be continued...

So I copyrighted the photos and screens

OOO... i went to tsaeeeesss..blog.. and found this cute thing... hahaha...

I think its kinda true to one of our darlings. iTS so similiar.. the tummy especially, introducing the fat gal in my group of GALFRENS... its NANA, the SARA from PP..

Weeee

“Please put down your pen, the time is 11.” Should I consider it a relief for the finals has ended and my 2weeks holiday will be starting from now? I doubt.. I had did badly in this semester’s exam, and I realized, I couldn’t do much for its my own fault for not concentrating.

Some of my friends told me, I’m more cheerful lately. Have I finally let go of my past and decided to move on? I would say YES! But I’ll still be keeping that feeling in me. For if its easy to erase? I wouldn’t have gone through that 7months of pain, and questions.

As I pile up myself with questions, I’d realize you can’t force things to happen. Although you have the power to initiate it to happen, but at the end of the day, it still depends to the mighty, whether or not he wants it to happen. Fate is the word.

FFK my friends invitation for a fondue dinner, at Hartamas, as usual, me the FEI KEI WONG, but then, not that I don’t want to go, but no transport to get me home safely. Sorry dudes. I can tell you I would like to give it a try, its my first time, but I can also tell you, I’m a lil lazy, and as usual, when all this excuses piled up, it would be a NO! haha..really sorry zhi muis

What’s coming in the next two weeks. I wouldn’t want to look forward, for I see things happen without prior notice, without proper preparation, within this year. But, in my heart, I still hope that things will go well, and sad things will fade away.

Watch the covenant d… smuggled in a can of coke and 2 packets of chips into the cinema. Well, that’s michelle’s instinct. And I didn’t feel guilty at all. Sin again. But rules are meant to be broken anyway. The show was kinda nice, a “bit” aspect of fiction in it; (it reminded me about dragon balls kamekameha.), but it’s cool to have those eyes, turning black with a fiery start and of course jumping of the cliff and land SAFELY.. if only I’m part of the Ipswich family. And wait a minute, are girls allowed to inherit those magic powers. 1st thing I would do, change my results. Haha.. all HDs… then I’ll be so happy.

Dreams do motivate people, they actually made me happier too. Basically, I miss those days, when we had our times. I’m planning something soon. And I hope, people can make it there.

I myself am more opened, although at times certain feelings and emotions and actions, I can’t control unleashing it. So, what happens? michelle hurts her love ones, and she’ll start apologizing non stop again. Btw, the apologies are sincere.

when Look into this world, my greed made me stay for I want to grab all the opportunities I have, and making my dream a reality is always a motivation. Many things that is beyond my control, I’ll just give a smile and say, I’ve tried, I’d did my part, I’d given what I could, and as long I’m happy with it.. michelle says, no harm sacrificing and it’s part of growing up.

Hiking day

On the 5th Nov 2006, after another long sleep and lazying around, 1230 struck and its time for me to go for my 1st hill climbing activity at cuepacs bukit wangsa..
Basically, short pants, water, and a face towel.. and off we go..

Well, thats me climbing up, using the string to support my heavy body.. That aunty bag belonged to my mother..wait.. BELONGS to my mother, coz it was never mine,and its always hers... i help her take only..hiao ka bu xi, want to bring bag,dun12 carry,, eh...it rhymes..
Well, ,after 30minutes of limb, about another 100metres to the 1st pit stop, urm, my mum said she wants to go down. Meaning?? I have to accompany her. Refuse to give up at 1st.. but then have to guard her down right? Filial piety i call. Haha.. but then on the way down was the worst. Cause we have to climb back up, down up down to reach the opposite of peak. Kaki bukit..wateva its called in english. I ask my mum to get a helicopter to carry me down and yes.. endurance level= 0, stamina=0.. and yes, mum rockz coz she's faster den me.

Was bugging my sis to help me take the pic with the waterfall, but we oni made it with the water..
Alright.. my sis ask me to get on the big tree trunk.. i wanted to stand on it, but looking over it, its few hundred metres down, a big big deep deep cliff. so coward michelle says? Leanin would b fine...

Basically the day ended with much calories gone, and no studying at all, although tomorrow's finals day.I'm making it as a weekly thing to build up my leg force and stamina.. and actually, i'm planning this activity with my secondary school frens and college friends too. Y? Coz its close to nature, i like. y? Coz you can feel d breeze..i like. Y? Cause you spend more time bonding on the friendship catching up with the latest gossips, then watching movie? And having lunch in a restaurant. .DEFINITELY preferred, haha... picnic at waterfall..

Thoughts

1. At 1st I thought I was graduating in year 2009, when kylie said, I’m suppose to graduate at age 22. I was so offensive, but then we decided to calculate together la. So it comes to a fact that, yes, michelle has really low capabilities in calculation recently. Basically I’ll be graduating Feb 2010. Well, that’s it. My stupidity has been proved.
   
   When I was walking home yesterday after the bus ride from the LRT station, I kept thinking about the conversation I had with my college friend in business school today. Well, again, I manage to discover, a lot of things, I myself need to understand on human behaviour and its consequences.
   
   I myself am a very emotional person, just that I tend to have it hidden in me. I’m loud, noisy and talkative, but not really much of them know the ‘IN’ me I had. Apart from that, it seems almost impossible that I can reveal myself so much in front of my college friend.
   
   Well, most of the topics were about principles of life, both of us were trying to agree on certain things that we brought out are due to a story behind a person.
   
   I would like to quote Queen’s saying in this. I remembered myself telling her that I’m complicated and don’t try to understand me, for I’ll instead make you go NUTS. She said something that made me think a long way and agree with her statement. She uttered, Michelle? I don’t have to understand your character, or understand you. I only need to know.
   
   I go blank, the dictionary in my brain was trying to differentiate know and understand. Without flipping through the dictionary, my definition of know is, having to realize the ones acts or behaviour and not further doubt on the cause and consequences. Understand would be having to analyse why is a person acting like that and having questions in mind to fully understand the whole thing.
   
   In short, knowing is just outside the box, understanding includes the thing inside the box. Accepting is another aspect. Sometimes, I believe most of us tend to have dozens of question marks, asking ourselves questions like, why is that person acting like that, how on earth can this kind of people exist in this world and what can we do about it.
   
   Michelle’s Principle in Social life
   
   1.You always concentrate on the strengths of your friends that will improve your life
   2.Accepting a person’s weaknesses is vital, as it also meant forgiveness
   3.When you’re with a friend, you concentrate on the relationship, not the person
   4.Every person’s character has a story behind it, don’t judge without seeing the overall picture
   5.Do not judge a person’s character. If you do, accept what you don’t agree on, for they are beings that differs from others, you too.
   6.When you dislike one’s character, you mentioned what you dislike and do not further elaborate. Anything more than that is backstabbing.
   7.No one is perfect, one is always have something different from two. God made it that way for us to create mutual benefit. We are here to compensate each other.
   8.Live righteously, releasing the anger and pain is important, but play with words, for they are sharper than knife
   9.Confronting is the best way to avoid misunderstandings. But, do it in a comforting and not defensive way
   10.When having problems, always share with a person. For that person is always able to see things from a larger view, accept peoples point of view. You know when you’re in the situation, you tend to be selfish.
   
   Towards the end, I realize, I actually couldn’t let go certain things from my life. Well, looks like I have to live with it, adapt to eat, and stay happy with whatever I have. Be contented of what you have, but also have dreams and work for better future.